Simple truths that relieve unnecessary worries
It is unlikely that this worried primitive people, but in the process of evolution we have learned a practical and somewhat destructive habit – the habit of caring about what others think of us. This is not about observing the elementary rules of behavior in society, but about worrying about how others will react to your appearance, words and actions.
“The fear of not being liked is a common problem that especially annoys women,” says a psychologist. – Attentive attitude to the feelings of others is certainly a positive trait, but if thoughts about someone else’s opinion interfere with self-expression and personal development, this kind of obsequiousness is clearly not good for you. If you coordinate each action with how acceptable it is for others, it’s time to pause the need to please everyone and start pumping the rights to individuality.
8 signs you care too much about what others think of you
1. You constantly control your words and actions, avoiding spontaneous performances. Basically, you are afraid to say what you really think or feel.
2. You do not like to take risks, prefer to go the safe way, rarely listen to intuition and always consider the consequences of your actions.
3. You are stressed by changes, you do not like them. Sometimes you have new ideas, you want to change something in life or appearance, but you worry that you will be criticized, and you always coordinate your desires with relatives, friends and colleagues.
4. You find it difficult to make independent decisions and follow them.
5. You always try to please others and rarely contradict when you disagree.
6. You avoid certain people because they overwhelm you and make you jealous with their bright personality. In addition, you are oppressed by the feeling that they are not interested in you.
7. You often have the (unreasonable) feeling that someone is annoyed or angry with you.
8. Because you always adapt your needs to the opinions of others, you don’t really know what you personally like or dislike.
If this or that point seems familiar to you, the situation is clearly not in your interests. It’s time to stop this one-way process before you become a complete and unconditional “pleaser” (from the English term pleaser) – someone who puts someone else’s opinion and satisfaction above their own. “Instead of directing energy into the fear of being rejected/s, change your habits, master practices that increase self-esteem, and even better, consult a specialist,” advises an expert.
Here are 5 truths our expert recommends memorizing so you don’t have to worry about what others think of you.
1. Everyone has their flaws
When you worry about other people’s opinions about you, you forget that everyone has their flaws, and even seemingly self-confident characters doubt themselves from time to time. While you’re worried about what you look like in his/her eyes, the person’s mind may be thinking, “I wonder what she thinks of me?” or “What impression does she get?” In most cases, fears about how others will accept you are completely groundless, you simply invent them.
2. People generally don’t care about you.
It sounds harsh, but it is true: 95% of our difficult life we are occupied exclusively with ourselves. The ability of others to think about you (especially critically) is negligible – only 5% of attention is directed to others, that’s how we are arranged. Get this statistic on your nose – perhaps disappointing, but at the same time freeing you from unnecessary worries.
3. What they think of you is not your problem.
If you want to go out in sweatpants and a holey sweater, there is no reason to worry that someone will perceive your style with skepticism. Your worldview may absolutely not coincide with the perception of another person. We are all different, we like completely different things, and if your style or mannerisms do not match his / her idea of beauty, this is his / her problem, not yours.
4. Caring about the opinions of others dampens self-esteem.
Take a moment to think about how much time and emotion you spend imagining what others might think of you. Too much, right? These meaningless experiences not only drain energy, but also cause you to doubt yourself more and more. You must first of all take care of how to preserve the integrity of your personality, and not betray yourself to please others.
5. You can’t please everyone
There will always be people who do not like your words or behavior, and there is nothing you can do about it. However, you can react differently to someone’s criticism, allowing or rejecting the influence of someone else’s opinion. If you understand that