What will help you to believe in your achievements as much as in the success of others
This happens often, if not every single day: you ride the subway and automatically scroll through the posts on your phone, glancing over someone’s cats, children, travels, breakfasts, parties, until your eyes cling to a picture that makes you uncomfortable and annoying, as if your wallet had just been snapped off.
So the feeling of envy raises its head, which is quite natural at the sight of a classmate in a wedding neckline, bowing her head on the shoulder of a happy groom, or the broad smile of a former colleague who became the director of a new company, while covid blurred the horizons of your career growth. You try your best to be happy for others, but the anguish is growing. Why is it that they have, and you have so-so? Why the hell is she and not you?
Awakened envy is capable of directing thoughts in two opposite directions: a dark pool of longing for personal failures or an active transformation of jealousy into productivity. The second option is, of course, preferable. Resentment of bad luck by an effort of will is transformed into a powerful motivator that will help you determine what you want from life, and give energy in pursuit of your dream, turning envy into confident steps towards personal happiness.
1. Remember everything you have already achieved
Feeling envious of others’ success, close your eyes for a couple of seconds. Imagine that the moment you are looking at someone’s brilliant post, someone else is looking at your account, sincerely wanting to be in your place – to have the same experience, mind, taste, bust, in the end! The grass is always greener behind someone else’s fence, but objectively, there are enough achievements in your life that you could rightfully be proud of and for which you should be grateful.
2. Identify the root of your envy
After revising your accomplishments, assess the whole picture of your real world and figure out the source of the discontent. What exactly are you jealous of? Career? Relationships? Travel opportunities? Just a general feeling of happiness? If you can realize what you are missing, you will understand what to strive for. The only way to change the current situation is to know what you want to change.
3. Evaluate the path to success of the one you envy
Consider how the object of your envy has achieved the successes that you dream of. In the same place, in your mind, try to identify what prevents you from achieving the same. Well, in fact, you do not think that this person was the last on the planet to deserve a beautiful wedding or a promising position? Turn off the dull stupor mode to move on, not forgetting for a minute: if she / he succeeds, you can. The resources of the Universe are endless. The transformation of jealousy into motivation, among other things, restores the ability to be happy for others, with respect and interest in their achievements. And feel free to ask how they achieved what you admire – everyone loves to share their success stories.
4. Set a route to your own success
Whatever you are jealous of – your career, your relationship, your lifestyle, your figure – make a roadmap to your version of success. After brainstorming and collecting useful information from those who are successful in your eyes, proceed with an action plan – and envy will no longer remind you that you do not have enough. For example, you want to become a director of the online marketing department, for which you need to: a) take courses in analytics and optimization, b) regularly monitor relevant trends and resources, c) update your resume, d) inform management about your intentions, e) receive the place of the manager of the department. And there, and not far from the dream.
5. Don’t forget to celebrate achievements
Do not forget to praise yourself – for intermediate achievements on the way to the goal and for what has already been achieved (see point 1). You don’t have to celebrate only big milestones – get used to being proud of small victories. If you have been stuck for five years without prospects for promotion and access to interesting tasks, and today you have updated your resume and signed up for an interview, you can be congratulated – the ice is broken! And even if this success is not like that reflected by enviable accounts, as long as you move towards your dream, there is always a reason to rejoice at a change for the better.