Where does mutual distrust come from and how the situation changes when it comes to the wedding
Contrary to the romantic messages of Hollywood melodramas, jealousy is not a manifestation of love, but rather a side effect based on low self-esteem and a selfish desire to restrict a partner’s freedom. Jealous people are driven by the instinct of possessiveness, forcing them to perceive others as a threat to the relationship and demanding constant proof that the perceived threat is not real.
If you let the situation take its course, the desire for control will only progress. “Don’t convince yourself that Othello-style behavior is flattering by highlighting your partner’s unbridled passion,” warns clinical psychologist and hypnotherapist Olga Geno. – Jealousy tends to sharpen and, as a rule, grows stronger as intimacy grows. Jealous people tend to think that a long relationship gives them more rights over those to whom they are sincerely attached. Waking up in sweet Othello is able to completely cut off your oxygen, depriving meetings with friends, old hobbies and hobbies. “
Psychological survey data highlight the three most popular reasons for this exhausting feeling: jealousy of friends, colleagues, and ex. The problem is doubly complicated if the friend is a former boyfriend, the one for whom the term “frex” was coined.
Frex (from the abbreviation of the English-speaking friend and ex) is your old hobby, with which you decided to part with it in an amicable way. And that, everything is in order, life goes on, suddenly you just made a mistake with the project. Love and sex were fine, but friendship suits you better. Of course, you can count on him, and you always have something to call, you know each other very well, and you do not need to clarify your point of view, starting with the basic characteristics. It is convenient, pleasant, natural and safe. Today, when the concept of love is becoming more and more vague, it is pleasant to realize that one can still count on constancy in friendship.
Meanwhile, the nature of intergender friendship seriously worries those in relationships, especially male partners. A recent study by the University of Cambridge found that a friend of a loved one can cause serious jealousy in her partner. Even if he completely trusts her, intuition constantly whispers suspicious ideas. Let’s say it’s just a childhood friend with whom she once frolicked in the sandbox, but what if this is an insidious and unpredictable Frex? And if love once grew into friendship, why not allow a chance for a backlash? And perhaps he knows this firsthand, because he himself fell in love with “just a friend”.
Another study, published in the Journal of Relationships Research, found that the problem of control is escalating among couples who choose to get married. Psychologists believe that as the wedding approaches and the accompanying stress grows, grooms become more susceptible to jealous speculation, accompanying them with a bouquet of negative emotions.
Jealousy is evil in short. True feelings are based on trust, and doubts undermine the prospects of any relationship. And if you can’t agree with your darling about maintaining comfortable independence and freedom (within reasonable limits), perhaps the time has come to prioritize and arrange a personal revolution.