Why Some People Can Only Sleep Alone And What To Do About It?

Joint life does not always mean a common bed, but it makes sense to strive for this.

It would seem that it could be more pleasant than falling asleep in an embrace with a loved one, but a romantic mood does not always guarantee sweet dreams and sound sleep.

Studies by somnologists (scientists who study sleep and related problems) confirm that about 25% of couples sleep in separate beds these days. It’s about those who live together. Of these, 10% went, as they say, even further and spent the night in separate rooms. Why? Because it’s more comfortable.

Despite the fact that those who share a bed at night are still in the clear majority, about 26% of partners admit that they sleep much calmer and soundly alone. Even among those who prefer not to part for the night, 13% sleep in an embrace with a loved one, and 63% strive to move back to their half of the bed.

Interestingly, the statistics of “avoiders” are mainly determined by women, since they are much more likely than men to be diagnosed with insomnia and other sleep disorders. The fact is that the physiological processes caused by circadian rhythms proceed faster in women, and therefore, in particular, they sleep worse in the morning.

Women generally do not sleep well next to a partner, and men, as a rule, sleep better together.

Of the possible causes of the gender gap, scientists have identified a duo of leading causes. First, women are endowed with light sleep because of the ability to motherhood – whether realized or not. Secondly, men are more prone to snoring than the fair sex, whose sensitivity fails here too: women are twice as likely to wake up from snoring as men, and this is one of the most popular reasons for night migrations to a separate territory.

However, there is a good reason to compromise for the sake of a shared bed – besides hot sex and intimate chatter. The fact is that lying in an embrace – after making love, before or instead – is very good for health. Tactile contact with the body of a loved one triggers the body to produce oxytocin, the hormone of attachment, which helps to relax, feel safe and happy serenity. In addition, oxytocin relieves pain, energizes the immune system and relieves stress. But most importantly, it helps you fall asleep.

Instead of choosing between bed-talk and separate bedrooms, here are a few strategies to help you get a good night’s sleep:


The idea is not to deprive yourself of the space that has become familiar from years of sleeping alone. The larger the bed that fits in the bedroom, the better you will sleep.


If you and your partner are unanimous in choosing a mattress, you are in luck. If not, invest in two single beds with a custom mattress for each and combine them into a two-piece sleeping space.


Did you wake up in the middle of the night from the cold and find that he again pulled the whole blanket over himself? Or do you like to sleep under a down coverlet, but does he feel good under a cotton bedspread? Try to get two separate blankets, and life will improve noticeably.


If your loved one likes to sleep with an open window all year round, your love for duvets is understandable. On the other hand, this is unfair – in a joint bedroom there should be a temperature that is comfortable for both, which needs to be discussed.