Why it is useful to be able to recognize emotions and why keep a diary
Today, social networks are full of quarrels and disputes. It happens that in communicating with people discomfort arises simply from the fact that we cannot correctly and correctly express and express everything that we feel. In order not to quarrel with colleagues and friends, it is worth working on your emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to properly handle emotions: recognize them, control them and use them. Together with an expert we have put together a few life hacks that will help you improve your emotional intelligence and learn to better understand others.
LIFE HACK#1. Work on your emotions
The most important thing here is to learn to understand your emotions. The technique is simple: start asking yourself questions and record the answers in an emotional diary. Important questions for self-awareness: “How do I feel now?” “Why do I feel this?”, “How would I like to feel?”, “What do I need for this?”. By asking them to yourself, you will gradually be able to get to the bottom of the reason and understand why in this or that situation you react the way you do.
The diary can be filled out once a day – writing down the main feelings, summing up the day; or constantly – fixing every change in mood. The first method helps to understand the general emotional background, and the second reflects the broadest picture of your condition.
LIFE HACK#2. Develop Empathy
The key to developing empathy is sincerity. When you communicate with a person, do not pretend that you are interested: really listen to others, be attentive to other people’s words. Holding the phone in your hands will not work – you need to show real interest, and you cannot achieve it without complete and sincere immersion in the conversation.
To better understand the feelings of the interlocutor, try to note the tone of the interlocutor’s voice, his personal intonations: they may sound resentment or anger. Be careful – try to understand exactly what your interlocutor feels and why. And if you already have a certain level of trust, don’t be afraid to confirm your guesses by directly asking the interlocutor. Remember about tact and respect the right of a colleague or friend to any emotions, but do not be afraid to support him in a depressed state.
LIFE HACK#3. Chat on different topics
You need to constantly get to know your interlocutor from a new perspective: both joint trips to the theater and a discussion of the latest news help here. Remember that your worldviews will be different. You can verify this and at the same time learn more about the interlocutor with the help of a simple exercise: imagine a closet and describe it in detail – material, height, color, purpose. Ask your colleague or friend to do the same. The results can tell you a lot about each other.
LIFE HACK#4. Learn to show your feelings and put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
The I-message technique is good for exploring your emotions, but it can also be used to try on the experience of your interlocutor. With this technique, you show the interlocutor your emotional state from his actions. For example, your colleague takes a long time to respond to your important letter, but instead of loud phrases about how bad he is, you talk about yourself. “This letter is very important and that’s why I get upset when you don’t answer.” After expressing your feelings, explain the impact of this behavior on you: “… I think I’ve been forgotten.” At the end, tell us how you see the best alignment for you: “I want to be answered at least sometimes, although I understand that you are busy.”
Performing different actions, people do not always think about the effect they have on others. Leaving an important letter unanswered, a colleague, most likely, devotes time to more important projects, in his opinion. But when you directly point out your feelings, it motivates the interlocutor to look at others more widely.
Now try to replace “I” with the name of your colleague, friend or relative and try to say phrases based on what you know about your interlocutor.
LIFE HACK#5. Expand your horizons
Curiosity expands the boundaries of empathy, bringing you into contact with people outside your familiar circle and introducing you to other life experiences. In each case, you will get a unique view of the world, new answers to familiar questions and unusual solutions for everyday tasks. Do not forget about various educational courses: from the features of f
Renaissance philosophy to neuropsychology. There are also separate programs that are dedicated specifically to the development of emotional intelligence. In addition, books, films, classes, and acquaintances will help. To meet new people, you can use special services that will help you schedule a tea party or brainstorm with one or several interlocutors at once.
Be open and sincere, do not judge, listen to yourself and to others – and you will have no problem understanding what the other person is thinking and feeling.