Signs a romance is heading for the apocalypse and tips on how to avoid it.
Love is one of the most powerful feelings, but it is rash to believe that it is invincible. It requires constant nourishment and support. Otherwise, these six omnipresent enemies can consume affection and trust. How to eliminate harmful feelings from your heart?
Number 1: Lack of trust
The main signs: a partner three times a day, under various pretexts, is trying to find out what you did last night, trying to catch you in a lie; he elicits the password from your smartphone to look into instant messengers; and if you are going on a business trip, he calls the hotel to check how many people live in a particular room. Congratulations, you have got a popular species – “common jealous”. It’s only worse if you recognize yourself in all these sketches of paranoid surveillance!
Diagnosis: Jealousy is a manifestation of obsession and addiction, and has nothing to do with healthy and mature love. The only universal advice in such a situation: to maintain adequate self-esteem; and also – try not to reduce your entire existence to one single person, make new interesting acquaintances, work and hobbies (as they say, live life to the fullest); but at the same time, be more empathetic when alone with your soul mate.
Number 2: Routine
Key Signs: You’re starting to ask yourself: For six months, lying on the couch with pizza and watching Netflix together for six months (oh, how romantic it was the first three times!) – is really what you expected from a relationship?
Diagnosis: Routine – a hand with a gun for our sexual desires. Passion is one of the most mysterious and freedom-loving expressions of love, and this feeling should not be locked in a cage. You should not plan to “have missionary sex every Saturday at 11:30 pm.” This is a sure road to ruin. To avoid the routine, you need to maintain passion in the relationship.
Number 3: Constant Grudge
The main signs: you are meeting at dinner after a quarrel, but the evening, which seemed to start with an apology, continues with another showdown and a noisy debate about the degree of roasting of meat …
Diagnosis: behind such nonsense disputes, as a rule, there is some other, much more significant unresolved conflict. For example, one partner wants to have children and the other doesn’t. And the first one constantly feels depressed. Do not build up a grudge: the only solution is to talk frankly about everything.
Number 4: Boredom
Key Signs: Any plans for the evening seem better than spending it together. And when you are still alone, everyone sits, buried in the phone.
Diagnosis: In a relationship, there will inevitably come a moment when it seems like love has reached its peak. We no longer need to impress and win the person we like, we are not afraid of losing each other. “Will not go anywhere” – you reason. Why tell him again that he is handsome and talented? To avoid this alliance-destroying situation, you must remember that love dries up and dies if you do not feed it regularly. You cannot be sure that a strong feeling – and with it the partner himself – will not disappear.
Number 5: Inequality
Key Signs: You’re beginning to think more often that your tastes are incompatible and that you are developing at different speeds. You are not at all sure that you can be happy for the rest of your life next to a person who is lying on the couch until four in the morning, playing Play Station.
Diagnosis: The key is to recognize and agree with the disagreements that are in the pair, they are inevitable. The end of love is an attempt to change another person. You cannot make someone look like a picture in your head. Build a relationship around the similarities of your interests and be understanding about differences. After all, you also have them.
Number 6: Pride
The main signs: the slightest quarrel inevitably follows the same scenario – the partner constantly makes concessions and takes the first step towards, regardless of whether he is really guilty or not.
Diagnosis: to be close to a person who never apologizes for his mistakes – to condemn himself to eternal suffering. Without a doubt, humility and the ability to apologize is an important manifestation of emotional intelligence that fosters mutual trust. It is worth developing it in yourself and your partner.