Signs That You Are Not Living Your Own Life, And How To Change It

Every one of us dreams of a life full of excitement, triumph, freedom, love and pleasant excitement. Everyone likes to strive for a goal, follow the impulses, be in the flow and get satisfaction from your actions. But at some point you betray your desires in favour of the logic of reason and years later you find yourself not at all where you dreamed. And not even with the person you wanted to be with.

At that moment, you realize that a measured adult life, contrary to promises of parents, does not guarantee happiness to those who obediently follow the rules. Even though you were used to thinking from school that routine and responsibility would keep you out of trouble, you’re not happy with the monotonous days. You have found yourself thinking more and more about the causes of your homesickness and have realised that it is not PMS (feelings of exhaustion) or temporary sadness due to a lack of money before a paycheck. You’re unhappy because you’re not living the life you want.

1.      You’re reading this text. If you’re basically being clingy about it, that’s the first sign of a lack of self-actualization.

2.      You feel like you’re missing out on something. Which means that you are. This feeling is a feedback loop from the Universe that sends you the message, “Wake up, you were made for more!” Your internal GPS is letting you know that you’re off course. You’re out of alignment with your purpose, and you feel it. You’re working, taking care of loved ones, interacting with people, but it doesn’t bring you joy. You’re also drawn to personal development resources, books, coaches and trainers who promise to free you from mental anguish.

3.      You are jealous of others and their success. Envy comes from the belief that success is an attribute of someone else’s life. Your life seems to be okay too, but you are constantly tormented by the question of how others manage to feel such passion and pleasure in relation to work and life in general? You see that it is possible, but you don’t know where to start and, most importantly, you don’t believe that you can do it.

4.      You are used to being content with what you have. And not just in your career, but also in relationships. Once you had dreams and aspirations, but then you decide that it is easier to follow a standard plan: go to university, find a decent job, get a mortgage, and fly to Maldives. You follow the golden rule: a bird in the hand is better than a bogeyman in the sky, and any risk is fraught with problems, even if it leads to victory. You guess that you are destined for more (see point 1), but you convince yourself that it is safer and more secure the way things are. At least you know what to expect.

5.      You are unhappy. And on top of that, you reproach yourself for it. Like, why are you so gloomy, someone else on the planet has it worse. A nice reflection in the mirror, good health, stable income and even a boyfriend can not get rid of the nostalgia that gnaws at your soul. You can’t pinpoint exactly what it is, but something is definitely wrong.

If you know 2 or 3 of these signs, you should change your tactics. You want to be happy and enjoy life, don’t you? Then it’s time to give the green light to immodest expressions of your personality.

Let passion lead you to your goal – remember and write down your desires. Be honest. What is it that you really want? What inspires and excites you? What would you do if you weren’t afraid and worried about money? To reconnect with yourself and hear your true desires, clear your head of rubbish. Take some time at the weekend, take a couple of hours away from Instagram, tiktok, news, shows and confess to yourself what you would like to have/achieve in your life. Remember that all good decisions come not from the mind but from the heart.

“Everything exists in the form of potentiality. All you have to do is provide the necessary energy and the goal will become a reality,” writes contemporary Canadian philosopher John Kehoe in his book The Subconscious Mind Can Do Anything. Once you understand what makes you happy, get down to business. Not tomorrow, not next week and certainly not when you retire. Right now. After all, life is too short not to do the things you enjoy.

Here are a few principles that are important to follow in order to experience life satisfaction:

  • Do what you like and learn to say no to what you don’t like.
  • Trust your inner voice: Intuition is never wrong, and intuition is silent if it has nothing to say.
  • Communicate with wise and pleasant people, do not neglect the help of a psychologist.
  • Sleep enough and wake up half an hour earlier than usual to have an unhurried and pleasant sleep.
  • Take more walks, listen to your favourite music, podcasts and audiobooks,
  • Spoil yourself, take time for self-development and take care of your body.

Remember the character in the comedy Groundhog Day? The way he adapted to the situation, living the same events day after day? He realised that instead of denying or ignoring the situation, he had to change his attitude towards it. He had managed to break through the trap of routine and move to the next level precisely because he had realized that the standard approach did not work; he had to act on his heart’s desire. This is a path from which one does not want to return, because one starts to treat oneself better and allow oneself more.