Simple truths to get rid of unnecessary worries
It is unlikely that this worried primitive people, but in the process of evolution we have learned a practical and partly destructive skill – the habit of taking care of what others think of us. It’s not about following the elementary rules of behavior in society, but about worrying about how others will react to your appearance, words and actions.
“The fear of not being liked is a common problem that especially annoys women,” says a psychologist and hypnotherapist. – An attentive attitude to the feelings of others is, of course, a positive trait, but if thoughts about someone else’s opinion interfere with self-expression and personal development, this kind of servility is clearly not good for you. If you reconcile each action with how it is acceptable to others, it is time to pause the need to please everyone and start pumping the rights to individuality. “
8 signs you are worried about what others think of you:
1. You constantly control your words and deeds, avoiding spontaneous speeches. Basically, you are afraid to say what you really think or feel.
2. You do not like to take risks, prefer to go the safe way, rarely listen to intuition and always consider the consequences of your actions.
3. You are stressed by changes, you do not like them. Sometimes you have new ideas, you want to change something in your life or appearance, but you are worried that you will be criticized, and always coordinate your desires with family, friends and colleagues.
4. It is difficult for you to make independent decisions and follow them.
5. You always try to please others and rarely contradict when you disagree.
6. You avoid certain people because they suppress you and make you envious of their bright personality. In addition, you are depressed by the feeling that they are not interested in you.
7. You often have the (unreasonable) feeling that someone is annoyed or angry with you.
8. Since you always adapt your needs to the opinions of others, you don’t really know what you personally like or dislike.
If this or that item seems familiar to you, the situation is clearly not in your interests. It’s time to stop this one-sided process, until you become a complete and unconditional “pleaser” (from the English term pleaser) – someone who puts someone else’s opinion and satisfaction above his own. “Instead of channeling your energy into the fear of being rejected, change your habits, master practices that increase self-esteem, and even better – consult with a specialist,” advises the expert.
Here are 5 truths that our expert recommends to memorize so as not to worry about what others think of you:
1. Everyone has their own shortcomings
Worrying about someone else’s opinion on your account, you forget that everyone has their flaws, and even self-confident-looking characters from time to time doubt themselves. While you are worried about how you look in his / her eyes, this person’s head may be thinking, “I wonder what she thinks of me?” or “What impression does she have?” In most cases, fears about how others will accept you are completely unfounded, you simply make them up.
2. People don’t really give a damn about you
It sounds harsh, but it is: 95% of our difficult life, we are exclusively occupied with ourselves. The ability of others to think about you (all the more critically) is negligible – only 5% of attention is directed to others, that’s how we are. Hack this statistical fact on your nose – perhaps disappointing, but at the same time relieving from unnecessary worries.
3. What people think of you is not your problem.
If you want to go out in sweatshirts and a leaky sweater, there is no reason to worry that someone will take your style with skepticism. Your worldview may absolutely not coincide with the perception of another person. We are all different, we like completely different things, and if your style or manners do not match his / her idea of beauty, that is his / her problem, not yours.
4. Caring for someone else’s opinion dampens self-esteem
Think for a couple of minutes how much time and emotion you spend imagining what others might think of you. Too much, isn’t it? These meaningless experiences not only drain energy, but also cause you to doubt yourself more and more. You should first of all care about how to maintain the integrity of your personality, and not betray yourself to please others.
5. It is impossible to please everyone
There will always be people who don’t like what you say or how you behave and there is nothing you can do about it. However, you can react in different ways to someone’s criticism, allowing or rejecting the influence of someone else’s opinion. If you understand that negativity is being projected onto you, do not take this information personally – perhaps this person is not doing well, and he is aggressively disposed towards everyone around. It is much more important that you like yourself. Remember that you have friends and loving people in your life who support and accept you for who you are. Don’t waste your time and energy on those who don’t care about you.